Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
