from now on my penis is your penis
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
