Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
