oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
