I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
