I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
