Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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