Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
