Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
