I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Randomize
