no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
