Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
