I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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