we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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