The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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