Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
