After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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