I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
