getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
