two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She's the barista slut.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
