you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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