Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
