But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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