I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
