we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
