Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
