I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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