the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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