WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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