If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
