"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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