i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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