You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
