it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
