do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
