grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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