There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
