you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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