You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
