marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
