I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I lost the right to judge tonight
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
