YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
