he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
