hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
