dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
