I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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