ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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