There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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