i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Im just a social blackout drinker.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Randomize
