so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
